I've been hacked

O.k. not exactly hacked because it's my own stupidity, but it is a very clever scam. I received an IM from someone in my friends list that had a link to another site. I went to the site and it asks for you to log in to flckr under your yahoo id to see pictures. Stupid me tries to log in and nothing happens. So I figure it's a bum link. Tonight while eating dinner, a message popped up that said I had been logged off because I logged into another computer. I did no such thing. So I log back in. Shortly thereafter, a friend of mine in my IM list asked me about the link she just got from me. I told her that I hadn't sent her anything and she said that I did. So I put two and two together. Somebody is using this site to get a person's id and password. When you log in, it records it and then they use it to send messages from your yahoo account. I changed my password (yet again), updated my security key, and then created a sign in seal. When I did that and visited the same site as before, it didn't have my personalized sign-in seal on it. I strongly recommend that you do this if you use yahoo services.
Usually I'm not fooled by scams. I know that when you click a thing that says "paypal" it doesn't necessarily take you to an actual paypal site and such. Well, live and learn.

It's Halloween and I haven't had a single trick or treater. I guess most kids these days aren't allowed to just wander the neighborhood because of all the freaks out there. Although my town is actually pretty safe (I can't remember the last time an actual murder took place) there are still some weirdos out there. (You know... the ones that are completely attracted to me.) Most kids go to the Halloween Happening thing at the high school. I guess Josh and I will have to eat the candy ourselves.

Today I got a call from another band parent and I guess now I'm going to go as a chaperone with the band. That means that I won't have to drive down there and I'll get to be with the band throughout everything. That's a pretty good deal. I already put in for the days off next week so it should work out well.

I did make progress in the kitchen tonight. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and soaked dishes that needed soaking. I'm waiting for the water heater to fill back up so I can run it. I was going to make pizza for RCIA class tomorrow, but since it's All Saints Day with Mass that evening, I was called to reschedule it for next week. The class is going to go to Mass which is great. I have to go as it is a holy day of obligation and I can't make it to the 7 a.m. Mass.

Today at school time just flew by. I have so much to do and I haven't even made a dent it seems. I have several things that need to be graded and my students have to do their performance checks for the next tournament this week. I put together a schedule for that and then everyone kept adding and changing their events. I only got one class of papers graded. I brought them home foolishly thinking I might grade them, but I probably won't. After all, I am spending my time blogging at the moment.

Although I sent Josh a message last night to get a ride, he called at 11:00 needing me to pick him up. Somehow I managed in my drug-induced state to get there and back. Tonight he asked if I was going to bed early. I said I wasn't sure, but if he could get a ride to go ahead. He said he could. The itching is a little better today, but I may take another benadryl tonight as well. I really need to stop eating this Halloween candy. I should have gotten kinds that I don't particularly care for so I wouldn't eat it.

Well, time to go procrastinate some more and find other things to do besides grade papers. Hope you all had a great day and another one tomorrow!

Is it too early to go to bed?

I don't know what it is, but I just want to go to bed and it's only 8:00. There's so much I need to do and should be doing and I don't want to do any of it. It wasn't even a difficult day at school. I didn't do any teaching so to speak. My students worked in class all day. I worked on the team website most of the day. I still have papers to grade that are untouched. I won't even begin to describe the state of my house. I am much to embarrassed by it. (And Jonathon, I HATE doing the dishes too.) Josh is gone to rehearsal. I went to the store to get something for dinner and lunches this week. I was so lazy I got a rotisserie chicken and pre-cooked rice for dinner. It was actually pretty good. Now I'm thinking about taking a benadryl and calling it an early night. For some reason I've been very itchy lately. It's probably just the dryness, but it's driving me a bit crazy at the moment. Sorry for the lackluster update. I really don't have anything more exciting to share.

Where does the time go?

You'd think I'd feel more refreshed with the time change and getting to sleep in an extra hour, but no such luck. I went to bed around 11:00 last night (with the time change so normally 12-ish) and slept until 7. I had to be at the church at 8 a.m. to warm up. The service was great as always and then I went to the adult faith formation class. I probably talked way too much in it, but I had much to share. Maybe it's this whole blogging thing that makes me want to share so much. Maybe I just feel the need to. Maybe I just seek attention, appreciation, or acknowledgment. Maybe I should shut up already.

After Mass, I came home and fixed Josh's internet. It wasn't working. His windows messenger thing is not working and I can't seem to fix it at this point... which drives me crazy. But I had to give it up so we could head to Amarillo. He wanted some more practice driving in heavier traffic. We also had to buy a pair of dress pants to wear for speech tournaments. Do you know how hard it is to buy clothes for a skinny teenager? Most stores don't carry mens sizes below a size 30 waist and even those are difficult to find. Josh is actually about a size 28. The boys department don't have much in the way of dress clothes and most sizes go up to a 16 which is too small. Finally at Dillards we found a pair of boys pants that were a size 20. We had lunch at the mall then went to Walmart to get him a red shirt for the musical.

After that, he had rehearsal and I took a very brief nap. Josh called to picked up about an hour later and then we went to check the air in the tires and put air in them. I figured he needed a lesson on that. I had plans to actually cook dinner but my kitchen is such a wreck I didn't want to make an ever bigger mess. I had plans to actually get it cleaned and I got started on it and now it just seems like a hopeless battle. Of course I'm sitting here blogging instead of cleaning. I still have to hem Josh's sailor pants tonight, start some laundry so that I won't have to go to work naked, and it's already 8:30. I better get in gear if I'm going to get to bed at a decent hour.

Sounds about right

How to make a Jennifer

Ingredients: 3 parts success 3 parts self-sufficiency 1 part joy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little sadness if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Disappointed, Suprised, and Elated

I've been gone all day long and didn't get a single interesting email in my box. Nobody even commented on my blog. How disappointing. But not too much. I am surprised to find, however, that my blog readership (or at least regular readership for the most part) has greatly increased in the past year. Here's a pic of my site stats over the past year.

My readership has almost doubled. I know of a handful of readers that do read regularly and a few of them comment fairly often as well. I know I'm a poor commenter on others blogs, but I mostly just enjoy reading them and only comment when something moves me or I just have a thought about it. But I am excited that I have a few more people stopping by lately. I don't blog in order to gain readers, I blog because it's become a habit and I do it for those wonderful people that do read me regularly for whatever reason that may be. I have to thank my number one fan, Jonathon, for a lot of the readership I have gained. I know I've garnered a few new regulars thanks to the link on his blog.

Today was a long, but very good day. There's good news all around. (But no, I didn't get a date.) First, Josh's band made it to state! I'll be heading to San Antonio next weekend and early part of the week to go watch. I'm going to stay with my ex who is being kind enough to put me up so I don't have to pay for a hotel room. It will be a fairly quick trip, but this is Josh's only chance to go to state marching contest so I want to make sure I can see it.

Next on the good news front, my team placed 1st in the school sweepstakes at our speech tournament today. Out of 21 students that entered, we had 26 entries (some people entered more than one event) that made it to semi-finals. There were 12 that made it to finals and placed. I am very proud of them. Maybe I'm doing a decent job after all.

Well, although the time change happens tonight, I'm exhausted and am going to bed. I have to sing at early Mass tomorrow. Hope you all have a good night and thanks for reading. Oh... if you do read regularly and haven't ever commented, please do! Come on... don't be a chicken. Just say "hi".

Just tired

Thanks for the note of concern Andrew. I'm fine. I've just felt really tired this week and I'm not sure why. O.k. yes, it's probably due to my lack of sleep this weekend and constantly running myself ragged and not getting a break. But I'm pretty much always in this mode so I'm not sure why I'm feeling it even more so right now. I guess I'm just really ready for the time change. Maybe it's because it's so dark in the mornings when I leave.

To recap my day... Had cafeteria duty this morning. (one of the many joys of teaching... duty... it's no wonder teachers are so lousy these days... who has time to actually prepare and teach actual lessons?) I basically didn't do any teaching today other than 5th period and then I just gave them notes for about half the period and let them play taboo the second half. I did have a brain fart in 6th period today. I sent two students down with our extemp files to take them to my car so we'd have them in the morning for the tournament. One of them came back about 10 minutes later asking "Where is your car?" I had forgotten that I carpooled this morning and I had no car at school. They put the files in one of their cars instead.

I actually spent much of the day working on our speech team website. I did cheat a bit and used a free website template, but I think it looks pretty good so far. I still have links to update on all the sites and such, but it's not a bad start.

Now I'm home and I've made the decision to not go to the game tonight. I really need to get to bed early since I have to leave so early in the morning. (5:45 a.m.) Now I'm fighting the urge to take a nap but I'm going to try to make myself stay awake and just go to bed early. I think I'll go ahead and take my shower soon so I won't have to take it in the morning and my hair will dry before bed (hopefully). My hair is officially long now so it takes longer to dry.

And that's today's exciting post. Stay tuned for tournament results. I may not post tomorrow depending on how late we get back. I'm singing at the 8:30 Mass on Sunday morning (although it will really kind of be 9:30) and if it's late I'm just going to bed.

Another brief update

Went to school. Taught. Had a speech meeting after school. Proposed new incentive for their fundraiser. If they bring in $3200 then they'll get a lock-in at the school. Came home. Took a nap. Went to choir rehearsal. Came home. Crocheted. Picked up Josh from rehearsal. Came home. Crocheted. Going to bed.

Updating just because

I feel obligated to update. There's not much to report today. Typical school day. I came home and was exhausted so I took a brief 30 minute nap before I had to get up and cook dinner. Made dinner (baked ziti) and then rushed off to RCIA class. Was there until 8 p.m. and then come home. I watched some t.v. and crocheted a bit. I didn't even realize Josh was home and didn't have rehearsal until he came out of his room at 9:30. I just started some laundry and will head to bed in the next few minutes. I'm tired.

Early birthday

I got home by 5:00 today and then Josh and I headed to Walmart. While there we had the thought about getting Josh a digital camera for his birthday. I planned to spend between $75-100 on his gift and with the price of cameras going down I thought it might be a possibility. The cheapest decent one I found was around a $100 so I figured I would give it some thought. But then they had a stand of reduced cameras and I found a Kodak 5 megapixel camera for $80 marked down from $118. So I decided to go ahead and get his birthday present early. It's a nice small camera that is very simple to use. The only drawback is that it uses regular AA batteries. I will try to get him some rechargable batteries at some point. He also needs an SD card but at least there's some internal memory to it.

My day at school was uneventful. I'm catching up on grading papers slowly. Oh, I do have something to complain about. The school has decided this grand plan of reaching out to certain students. All the teachers have been assigned 3 sophomore students in which we're supposed to mentor. We're supposed to build a relationship with them, encourage them to attend school and stress the importance of passing the TAKS. The thing is that the students we've been assigned are not in our classes. I'm lucky in that one of mine is someone I do have in one of my classes. I emailed my principal to ask him how exactly we're supposed to mentor these students that we don't have in class, don't know, and when we're supposed to do this. His response was to re-read the 3rd page of his principal's communication. I already read that and all it says is what we're supposed to do, but not how to achieve it. I am one of the lucky teacher's that has two conference periods. Even with that I still don't have time to deal with this. On top of preparing lessons, sending additional lessons to students in trouble, making parent contacts, grading papers and everything else required of us how are we supposed to take on this additional burden. If the students were those we had in class, that wouldn't be a problem and it would make sense because we could build that relationship without interrupting another teacher's class and without taking time out of our conference period.

I was at least smart enough to not bring home papers to grade tonight since I knew I'd never get to them. I still need to get some laundry done. My ex husband is being a sweetheart by writing me a quick program in access to track my hours that I've devoted outside of school to speech activities. Well, I better get a little bit done before tomorrow.

Paying Bills

I spent this evening paying bills and I'm happy to report that I'm not completely broke. This will of course change very soon when I take the leap and buy a new car. At least I hope my bank doesn't roll on the floor laughing at me when I ask them nicely for a loan. I'm getting anxious about it though. I really want to go test drive, but I'm going to be a good little girl and wait patiently until I talk to the bank first. You know what would happen. I would fall madly in love with a car and decide I must have it and the bank would say "no way" and I would be unhappy and have to find a cheap clunker and that would suck.
I am now starving, but I don't dare go to the grocery store in this state. I am also quite dismayed at the state of my house. It is quite depressing at the moment. And yet I have absolutely no desire to do anything about it. I also brought home a mound of homework that I'm certain that I will completely ignore. I have to figure out what to get Josh for his birthday. It's coming up very soon, you know. I asked him and he has no idea what he wants. I have no idea what I want. (It's o.k. to buy yourself a birthday present isn't it?)
I have now paid off two more credit cards. I'm checking into going to a very basic phone service which hopefully will save me another$30 a month or so.
I don't have anything else to report.
House still a mess. (check)
No dates or even a remote possibility. (check)
Laundry undone. (check)
Dinner. (on my way now....)

Weekend Recap

Well, let's start with Friday. It was a regular school day and I was back to my normal self. It was maroon and white day so I wore my white skirt and maroon top. I found out at the pep rally that our door won second place in the decorating contest so our class will get a donut party. After school, I ran to walmart and then the gas station. I got a later start than planned, but left Hereford shortly before 5:00. I took the southern route to Albuquerque avoiding some of the road construction on I-40. It was great to be able to jam to my own music. When Josh and I go together, we usually end up listening to his music... which is o.k., but I got to listen to all the stuff that he generally doesn't care for. I made it to my aunt's house by 9:30 (Texas Time). I watched a little t.v., had a bloody mary and then went to bed. I slept in knowing I would need to stay up late to come home. I got up and my uncle had made french toast for breakfast. I had a piece along with some hot tea. It was quite yummy. We left to go to the stadium around 11:30 and got there about 15 minutes before Josh's band performed. They did pretty well, but it wasn't the best performance... their sound was still a bit weak compared to some of the other bands that were the same size or even smaller. We stayed and watched the other bands in that afternoon session until about 3:00. Then we left to go eat. We went to Golden Corral and I stuffed myself. After that, we headed back to the stadium to hear the preliminary results. Awards were given for each band in it's particular class. Similar to Texas, the bands are divided into certain classes depending on how large their school population is. Although Josh's school is a AAA (3-A) school in Texas, it is considered a AA (2-A) school in New Mexico. In their class, they won awards for best music and best overall effect. They lost to another school in best visual, but they won first place for their class. They also made it to the finals (of all bands in all classes) which took the top ten bands. Going into finals, they were ranked 8th. We left the stadium again and made a quick trip to Walmart and then came back for finals. They were scheduled to play in the 5th position. Their performance in finals was the best I had ever seen them perform. Their sound was incredible and they had a little more oomph behind it when they needed it, but it was well balanced. The march was great and the color guard was more together than they ever have been. I was very impressed. I left after their performance so I wouldn't get too tired. I stopped in Edgewood to take out my contacts and get a coke. I messaged Josh to call when he got results. I was already to Santa Rosa by the time he called. They ended up placing 5th overall. That is really good as this is basically New Mexico's state marching contest.
I did well on the drive home. I yawned a bit by the time I got to Tucumcari. Luckily I had a semi-truck that I followed from that point on that kept my speed steady. I have to thank the trucker with license plate W53-082. (yes, after following him for two hours I memorized his license plate) I put my Chicago (the musical) CD on which kept me awake. I sang all the way home (which I couldn't do if Josh was in the car). I got home around 2:30 and tried going to bed by 3:00. I sort of slept for about 2 hours. Josh was supposed to get in by 4:30 a.m. but I knew they got a late start. I woke up around 5:20 and tried calling him. I guess he turned his phone off. I tried going back to sleep but it was useless. You know how us mom's are. When your kids are gone and it's late we stay up worrying until they're home. He didn't get home until 6:30. I picked him up and once again tried to go to sleep. Then I had to deal with animals. I didn't get any peace until about 8:00 which means I only got another 45 minutes of sleep before I had to get ready for church. The adult formation class started today and I didn't want to miss it. I got there in time and then went to the 11:15 Mass. I came home and couldn't decide if I was more hungry or tired. Tired won out and I once again tried to get some sleep. It still didn't work very well. I didn't actually fall asleep until about 2:00 p.m. and was up by 4:00. I decided to go ahead and make supper. Now I'm sitting here catching up on computer stuff and watching t.v. There's so much I need to do, but it's just not going to happen. I used to have this picture on my wall at my previous school that said, "God put me on this earth to accomplish so many things. I am so far behind, I will never die." That's how I feel at the moment. I need about a week to recuperate and I'm not going to get a break until Thanksgiving.

In other news, I checked my email at my aunt's house and for the second time, my yahoo password has been changed and I'm getting a bit irritated by that because I don't know who is doing it. They only way it could be changed is for someone to be able to answer questions about myself that only a few people would know the information. I have no idea who would want to change it or why. There's nothing incriminating or interesting to learn by reading my yahoo mail. Most of it is junk. I finally changed the security question in hopes that it will stop whoever is doing this.

Well, that's my update and my weekend. I'm going to go read some blogs and start crocheting yet another baby blanket.

I'm back

I got in at 2:25 a.m. and I'm going to go to bed shortly. Although I could probably go ahead and post because I'm not totally exhausted (believe it or not), I should go to bed and get a couple of hours in before Josh calls around 5 a.m. Then I'll sleep a few more before I have to get up for Church. The band did pretty well, but you'll have to wait until a post tomorrow afternoon for the results. You know how I like to keep you hanging!

Spirit Day

Well, it's finally over and I'm exhausted. And yet, I still have a ton of things to do. Today was a pretty good success. I did my punk thing and here's the link for pictures for those of you anxiously awaiting. I got a lot of interesting responses from my students today in regard to my outfit. Some were impressed. Others were shocked or frightened. Some laughed and thought it was great. Even my principal enjoyed it.
We finished decorating the door. I thought it turned out pretty good, but it's really information overload. Hopefully those judging will enjoy the trip down memory lane. I certainly did.
After school today we got ready for the parade. We had to run to walmart to get magnets to put the signs on the doors. We got those on, shoe polished the windows, put on streamers and headed to the parade staging area. We had to wait an hour for it to begin. My feet were killing me by that time. Finally we got started with the parade and I blasted 80's tunes from my car stereo. We threw dum-dum suckers with 80's words and definitions attached to them. It was pretty cool. I am amazed at the turn out for the parade. It seemed like the entire town was there. They tended to crowd the streets pretty much in hopes of the free candy. Unfortunately we ran out before we got halfway through it. I am glad that I'm part of a really great town. The people are very supportive and they have a great deal of community spirit. It's really refreshing.
After the parade, I headed back to the school to take the stuff off my car. I thought about going to the pep rally afterwards, but I was tired and just wanted to get home and wash the gook from my hair and wash the make-up off my face. (Which I still have yet to do.) I understand the whole "grunge" thing now because that's what it feels like.
As soon as I got home I checked my email and then found something to fix for dinner. Josh came in shortly after that and so I made enough for the two of us. Now I'm ready to take a shower. I need to get a bag packed for tomorrow, but I think I'll leave that for the morning. I'm exhausted and should sleep really well tonight... at least I hope I do. Hope you enjoy the pics.

Still not enough hours

It's moving full speed ahead. I had to stay after school in order to go to a meeting for our homecoming float information. I did that, rushed home, picked up Josh and headed to the mall. I wanted some accessories for my punk rock outfit. I found some cool earrings and black rubber bracelets. I wanted some kind of choke collar to wear around my neck and although there were plenty to choose from, I didn't want to pay that much for one. So I'll go collarless. Josh and I ate at the mall then ran by the grocery store so I could find regular trashbags for my outfit. I intended to take my car to the car wash tonight, but it started raining as soon as we got into town. I worked on my outfit instead. I altered an old pair of workout pants and turned them into shorts to wear under my trash bag dress. With the remaining material I made arm warmers. I cut my trash bag to give it sleeves and a place for my head. I have a leather belt I will wear to cinch it. I have fish net stockings that I will rip holes in and clunky black shoes. I'm going to paint my nails black shortly and tomorrow I will tease my hair and give it blue highlights. Black make-up should complete the look. Hopefully I'll remember to take my camera so I can get some pictures.
Tomorrow will be a long day with the parade and then I have to pack and get myself ready to go to Albuquerque on Friday since I'm going to leave directly from school. It will be a quick trip as I will probably come back Saturday night. At school I've been working on all the door decorating stuff and I have yet to put anything on the door. Hopefully most of that will be accomplished tomorrow. Well, I better get ready to go to bed.

A little more interesting day...

...but not much. Mostly a normal day at school. I had a huge headache right at lunch time today. I went to walmart to get more suckers for our float and it was just pounding. I hurried out of there and figured I needed something to eat. I went to Dairy Queen to get a burger & fries and it took forever. My head was really bothering me then. I got back to school and almost felt nauseated it was so pounding. Luckily I had some tylenol so I took three and ate much lunch. It finally went away after about an hour. After school I had to go get a shot. It turns out that an employee at the local Sonic was discovered to have hepatitis A and if we ate there in the last two weeks we could have been exposed. So today I went and got a shot. After school we got started on our float ideas. I didn't get home until 6:30 and didn't have time to cook so I picked up take-out. I had to take Josh to rehearsal at 7:30. Now I'm doing some laundry and waiting for bed time. I'm already tired. I could probably go to bed now, but Josh may need a ride home.

I'm going to be tired all this week. Tomorrow I have to stay for parade stuff again with a meeting at 6:00. I probably won't go to RCIA tomorrow night. I still have to clean my car and get things ready for Thursday. Thursday will be the parade so I won't get home until after 8:00 or so. Then on Friday I'm leaving right after school to go to Albuquerque. Saturday is Josh's marching contest. I am playing that day by ear. I will definitely watch the preliminary round at 1:00 and if the make finals, I'll watch that in the evening. Then I will either drive back right after that or stay at my aunt's. If I stay in Albuquerque, Josh will get back to Canyon at 4:30 a.m. and will have to get a ride home. If I go home, it will be a long drive, but at least I'll be there when he gets in and I'll be able to go to church on Sunday.

I guess I'll be ready for just a regular week next week. Is it bed time yet?

Very brief update

I went to school. I dressed to the nines and got some compliments today. It was a typical day with nothing exciting to share. We did have a faculty meeting in which we discussed our opinions about homework. I voiced mine and of course the English teachers heartily disagreed. I came home and fixed something to eat. Josh has yet to come home. He had band rehearsal right after school followed by musical rehearsal. He'll probably be starved when he gets home. And that's all I have to share. A very dull day which is good every now and then.

Another Lazy Sunday

I had to get up early to go sing this morning. I guess it went o.k. I know it could have been better, but I did my best. I really enjoyed the homily today. After church, I came home and went back to bed for a bit. Then I got up and checked emails and such. I also spent time crocheting my scarf as well. I watched t.v., did some dishes, and finally got myself enough gumption to go to the store. Josh and I went to the store in Amarillo in order to buy wine so I could make San Francisco chops which are simmering right now. This week is homecoming week and so I have to plan to dress of each day. Tomorrow is celebrity day. I can't think of any particular celebrity I could emulate so I will just dress in my formal wear. The spirit days are kind of weird this year. Tuesday is profession day. I guess I should just dress normally as a teacher. I suppose I could dress in my power suit. Wednesday is twin day and I have no idea what to wear. I might ask the other speech teacher to wear one of her speech t-shirts that I have and that way we could get away with wearing jeans. Thursday is dress like your float day and the speech team is going with an 80's theme. (The homecoming has a "flashback" theme and each class is choosing a certain decade). Our float will be called "How to speak in the 80's" and we'll have those wonderful catch phrases like "gag me with a spoon", "totally", "gnarly" etc. I'm going to dress a punk rocker because I can do that cheaply without buying a new outfit. I'll try to get a picture of my outfit for you. Friday is maroon and white day and that should be easy enough.
Now I'm just waiting for supper to finish. I think I'll go watch CSI and wait.

Hey it's my lucky number

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 32 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Marching Contest

First, I slept late this morning and it was wonderful, save for the animals that needed to be let in and out of my room. I piddled around the house most of the morning. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and did a load of laundry. A little before 1:00 I had to take Josh to the school. I started crocheting a scarf. I finally took a shower and got ready shortly before 3:00 and I headed up to Amarillo after that. I got to the stadium around 3:45. I watched all the 3A bands including Josh's band. There was simply no contest. And it's really not bragging. The high school band was better than some of the other 4 & 5A bands. (3A etc. is a classification based on school population, Josh's school will become 4A next year). After the 3A's were finished I went and found Josh and we had less than 30 minutes to go get food and get back to the stadium in order to watch the other bands. It rained a little bit here and there, but it wasn't a downpour thankfully. At the end of everything, we were kind of surprised by the ratings. The judges were pretty tough. Luckily Josh's band made a first division and will be going to area contest in two weeks. I do hope that they make it to state since this will be Josh's only chance to make it. Next week they're going to a marching contest in Albuquerque. I will head over there after school on Friday.
And that's been my day. Now I'm tired again and I think I'll go to bed kind of early since I have to be at church by 8:00 a.m. to warm up for choir or should I say women's ensemble. At least we have five singing this time. That certainly helps a little bit. Stay tuned for another exciting post tomorrow.

My life as a movie

Another meme thanks to Patrick. Like his list, some were quite fitting and some didn't make sense. I tag anyone that wants to do this meme.

Your Life: The Soundtrack

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your music player of choice (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).


2. Put it on "Shuffle".


3. Press "Play".


4. For each entry, type the song that's playing.


5. When you go to the next entry, press the "Next" button.

Opening Credits: "Time after Time", Cyndi Lauper
Waking Up: "Ballet of the Chickens in their Shells" from Pictures at an Exhibition by Mussorgsky
Falling in Love: "Habenera" from the opera Carmen by Bizet
Fight scene: "Hot Stuff", Donna Summer
Breaking up: "Stray Cat Strut", Stray Cats
Getting back together: "Relax", Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Secret Love: "String of Pearls", Glenn Miller
Life's okay: "One Night in Bankok", Murray Head
Mental breakdown: "Saturn, the bringer of old age", Gustav Holst
Driving Flashback: "Still", Reba McEntire
Partying: "Here I am Lord", John Michael Talbot
Happy Dance: "Ballet Sacre", David Holsinger
Regretting: "For My Broken Heart", Reba McEntire
Long night alone: "Friends in Low Places", Garth Brooks
Final Battle: "Spring", Vivaldi
Death scene: "Still", Lionel Richie
End credits: "Don't Fear the Reaper", Blue Oyster Cult

Not very surprising

But I am concercerned that there's some neuroticism in there. I do think I'm pretty agreeable, however.

My Personality

Neuroticism	28
Extraversion	20
Openness To Experience	37
Agreeableness	68
Conscientiousness	40

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Moving on to other dull things

Well, at least I had something interesting to write about finally. Now it's back to the same old stuff. I was kind of surprise that the previous post didn't garner any comments and then I realize that a lot of my blog readers now probably don't even know about the whole Marty thing. I guess it's just old news now. Well, back to my not so exciting life.

We had a short day at school today. Students got out at 12:25 and we got to leave at 1:00. I was starving by the time I got home and really had nothing to eat. I finally scrounged around and found a t.v. dinner that I popped in the oven. I know I'm kind of weird (or maybe really weird) but if I have to eat a t.v. dinner, most of the time, I still cook them in the over instead of the microwave. It's not that they're all that tasty to begin with, but they seem to come out better in the oven. I had a hungry man boneless pork dinner. It really wasn't too bad.

And instead of taking my time off and doing something productive, I turned on the heater in my room, got under the covers and sort of took a nap. I say sort of because I didn't really feel like I slept, but maybe I did. I think I kind of had a dream but I'm not sure.

Tonight I have choir practice. At least I can make a homemade, nutritious meal of hamburger helper for Josh.

I don't know what to do about this whole homecoming parade float thing. Each class at the school (Freshman, Sophomores, etc.) work on a float and other clubs etc. can have one as well. I asked if there was any intrest in it and there was a little so we decided to give it a go. Problem is that I think it's going to be far more trouble than it's worth at this point, but I'm not sure. I'm giving up my lunch tomorrow to meet with kids to start planning. My problem is that if we're going to do something, we're going to do it all the way and we should be the best... or at least the most creative. I'm kind of competitive that way and I don't like to do anything half-assed. (pardon the term) Yes, I'm taking too much on again as always, but I feel the need to stay busy I guess. If I sit still too long I start thinking about other things that are not good so I try to keep things going. Nevermind that I will never have a clean house. I think I'm giving into that fact right now.

Well, I better go start that dinner for Josh. I'm still full from my hungry (wo)man dinner.

Speechless again...

but for an entirely different reason. First let me explain some things. I've kept my distance from Marty so to speak out of personal necessity. My blog readers that have been with me since the courtship, dating, and breakup and the things that followed know that it was a hard thing for me. Of all the men in my life I really, really loved him with my whole heart. I didn't hold anything back and plunged in headfirst. Maybe that was my mistake. But it doesn't matter. We're no longer together and that's the way it's supposed to be and I came to terms with the matter. A part of me will certainly always love him, but I had to stop being in love with him. On one occasion while he was still in Alaska, I called him and I finally got the sense that I didn't matter to him any more. Maybe he had to live in that thought process and it came through on the phone, but that's when I finally "got it" and let go. It took time, but I did eventually "get over" him. I have certainly kept him in my prayers. I will continue to do so along with his mother in hopes that he, too, will find his way back to his faith. But as far as simply "thinking" about him or making contact with him, I've tried to avoid it. I have, however, found myself simply driving down the road and his name just pops into my head. No rhyme or reason to it, it is just there. I try to dismiss it and think about other things and ask myself why in the world am I thinking about him again? And that's they way I've been operating for a long time. Oh sure, there's the occasion IM's that happen maybe once a month, but nothing major. I've even prayed for God to take away those thoughts of him because they serve no purpose and I should focus more on other things. But every once in a while when I absolutely least expect it, he makes an appearance... not in my head, but for real.

Can anyone tell me why Marty contacts me when he's drunk? So I talked to him on the phone tonight. Had a nice long conversation. Nothing serious, just general stuff. But I got the feeling that he missed me. Sure, I know it's probably just the alcohol talking and maybe it was just him missing the physical stuff. But there was a semi-serious moment when he said that he had kept everything I had given him. I sometimes wonder what's going on in his head. Ahh... the great mystery of the universe! I think he is a bit surprised at how I've changed... he kept saying that he needs to corrupt me some more and I told him that I needed to work on cleaning him up and get him into a church. We agreed that would be an interesting challenge. He mentioned the idea of me coming down to Florida at some point. I'd have to give that some thought. On one hand I know it's probably just a very bad idea altogether. On the other, I think I'm in a good place and I could handle it. But then I also know that I'm probably just fooling myself in that regard. Then again, a road trip would be awesome and that means I could stop and see my wonderful friend Jonathon on the way. That also means ROLLERCOASTERS. There are several in Florida that I really want to ride.

O.k. I know. I know that Marty was probably not good for me. I know he didn't deserve me. I know I deserved better... yada, yada, yada. I also know that he has a good solid heart. I'm not writing this about any hopes of rekindling the flames with him. I do miss him as a friend because he truly was and is a wonderful friend. And I have so few friends in real life that not having that special someone to just talk to can get to you, you know? I know that my blogging friends are so wonderful and they are the absolute best... but the problem is that there's still that missing link of face to face personal contact.

O.k.... maybe not speechless... but still confused as ever. Why me? I keep thinking of my good friend Carol. She was there with me as the relationship came crashing down and I was taking my baby steps into the Church. She heard all about Marty. And she kept telling me that she didn't think that things were truly over for us and there might be a bigger plan involved. I would say "maybe, but I doubt it." But her hope always seemed to be there. I don't know. I do wonder, however, why he keeps popping in from time to time. Oh how I wish I knew what was going on inside his head and his heart. Problem is that I think even Marty doesn't know what's going on in there. I do hope one day he figures it out. I do wish for his happiness. And that's all I can do at the moment.

A short post about what I had for lunch

Thanks to Jonathon's idea I will write about what I had for lunch which is kind of odd since it's only 10:55 a.m. here. First of all, I didn't bring anything for lunch today. I do have things to eat in my storage room, but luckily I already had pizza. Our 2nd period classes can earn pizza by having perfect attendance. We had perfect attendance (at least the students did) last week so we got pizza today. I had a slice of pepperoni and a slice of either hamburger or sausage... I couldn't really tell, but it was yummy none-the-less.

Oh, you want more? O.k. I caught up on my papers to be graded and I must report that the grades don't look good. I think I will make a policy that even if the students are technically eligible to go to tournaments because they passed all their classes last six weeks, that if they aren't passing the class that helps them prepare for tournaments, then they shouldn't be able to go. In Texas, we have a no pass, no play rule. If a student doesn't pass any class for the six weeks, then they cannot compete in school events. But if they failed a class, they can regain eligibility during the 4th week if they bring the failing grade up to passing at 3 weeks. It's confusing, I know. And as a teacher we constantly have to make sure students grades are updated because of this. For someone like me that is perputally behind it can be frustrating. With TEKS, TAKS, and no pass-no play, house bill 72, modifications, ARDs, IEP's, BIP's, ISS and everything else under the sun, who has time to teach any more?

Empty Screen

I've been sitting here staring at the empty box here for a while not sure what I could possibly write about. And it's been another 15 minutes still with nothing to say. (O.k. I admit I was watching t.v, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm speechless at the moment.)

O.k. here's something. What is it about men that make assumptions about women having pms or it being that "time of the month?" I especially don't get it in IM conversations. Maybe I just turn into bitch mode with certain people online, but sometimes it is warranted and has nothing to do with my monthly cycle as unpredictable as it is.

And now another 40 minutes have gone by. Why do I bother posting tonight?

I went to school. I got on to my students for slacking off. I graded papers. In first period, only one person is passing at this point. I did find out last night that my principal ordered us a new printer. Your guess is as good as mine as to when it will arrive and then actually be hooked up. I sent in a request to have some of my computers in my room fixed and they still aren't.

I came home and Josh was gone. He had two rehearsals tonight so I won't see him until late. He didn't get until 12:30 last night. Of course I didn't sleep until he after he got home. It rained a lot last night as well. It's cold here. I had to turn on the heat. I made myself dinner. I'm thinking about grading papers but have yet to do so. I don't know what it is, but I really don't like grading papers at home. I guess that's why I never give homework... because I don't like it either.

Now I'm watching t.v. This has to be one of the top five boring posts ever.

Work Meme

I figured this was fitting since I'm technically still at work. I have to stay up here for open house tonight at 7:00. It seemed kind of pointless to drive all the way home and then back shortly after. And it's a waste of gas. So here's the work meme courtesy of some other blogs.

The Work Meme: (I answered these questions based on the workplace and not my job itself... that would be an entirely different set of answers.)

1. What is the best thing about your workplace?
As far as the place itself... I guess I have a pretty good room. It's old, but bigger than most other rooms and I have 9 computers although only about 7 of them work. I also have a large storage area (although half of it is taken up STILL by the business dept's stuff) Also, there are some very nice people here (although I still don't know a lot of them very well) and my students are really great most of the time. I'm glad that my principal doesn't intimidate me like my previous principal. Generally the principals and staff are very supportive.
2. What do you hate about your workplace?
My parking spot could be closer. (But it could also be a lot farther) I hate how we can't do any of our own copying. I don't like the carpet in my room.
3. What small irritance at your workplace really annoys you?
Sometimes the air conditioning works, sometimes it doesn't. When it does, it's usually too cold, but I'm afraid to complain or they'll "fix" it and it won't work at all. Not having a printer in my room is also up there on the list.
4. Describe the actions/quirks of the weirdest person you work with.
There aren't very many quirky people that work around me (at least that I've discovered so far)... but I guess I will mention my car pool buddy. She's very nice, but she talks a lot. A lot. She also sometimes gets to my house 10-15 minutes early which makes me feel like I have to rush - which I hate. She also has many various health issues that she talks about daily. Sometimes I find myself in that place when she's saying something that I have no idea what she's talking about and I do the "uh-huh", "I'm sure", or "I see" response and nod my head as though I were paying attention or understood.
5. What is one thing that you would change at your workplace to make life a helluva lot better?
Have more computers and all of them work. Have a printer in my room. Honestly, I have a pretty sweet deal this year. Four of my classes have the good, smart, mostly hard working students in them. One class is a regular comm. app. class but it only has 15 students. Then I have two conference periods which coincide with lunch. I have a TA that helps with menial jobs. I really can't do much complaining.

Brief post

I had another post all typed up but I can't post it because it involves a link to a web page that isn't working at the moment. I have some bugs to figure out. In any case, I'm sure you are all waiting for my daily report. It is quite dull, I'm afraid. I slept in and went to the 11:15 Mass. The homily was interesting and I'd like to post something about it on my Catholic blog, but I'm not sure how to write it without offending people. I need to give it more thought. After church, I came home and attempted to tidy up the kitchen. I made some headway before giving up. I watched t.v., read blogs, did laundry, went to the store, had dinner, watched t.v., did some work, read blogs, etc. It was a fairly unproductive day and I'm almost feeling guilty about it. Almost. I have nothing more exciting to share. Oh... some advice: never take a starving teenage boy with you to the grocery store.

No Break for a while

This will be one of those posts that make you tired again. I relized today that I won't have a break until the weekend of November 17. Next weekend is the marching contest. After that is another marching contest in Albuquerque. The following weekend is a speech tournament. First weekend in Nov. (actually starting Sun-Tues) is the state marching contest (which hopefully the band will be going to). The next weekend (mine & Josh's birthday) will be another speech tournament.

So what did I do today? I got up early to go to the convention, got ready, got in my car, looked at the program in to figure out when the first session started and realized I'd be getting there an hour early. So I came back in and waited. I went to the convention, attended some helpful sessions and left around 1:00. Then I went to my favorite fast food place and got a meat burrito grande and a coke. After that, I went to Michaels to get some rosary beads. They had tons of new beads and I hated the fact that I was on a budget. I did get some cool beads, though. Then I went to Hobby Lobby and got more beads. I came home and took a nap for about an hour and a half. Then I got up and watched t.v. Finally I got hungry so I went to pick up dinner. I took the dogs (Max & Roo) for a R.I.D.E. They hadn't been in so long and they were very excited to get out of the house. I came home and watched more t.v. Then I went to work on some rosaries. I now have 10 made and 3 almost finished but waiting to get more centers & crucifixes. I'm still debated what I should do with them. I love making them and am thinking about selling them online or something. I'm not sure how much interest would be generated, but I also had another idea in regard to the idea of selling them so I'm going to give it more thought.
Now it's almost bed time. I have to go check my closet and see what I have to wear to church tomorrow. Hope everyone has had a good weekend. The blogging world just isn't the same without being able to read Jonathon's blogs. I hope he's having a good time in Florida, but I want to read about it now. How I wish I could meet my wonderful blog friends. I've garned a few new ones thanks to Jonathon's blog. I appreciate ya'll for stopping by and continuing to read. And Kim, thanks for the email! It is certainly o.k. to email and comment as much as you'd like.

Still tired, but posting anyways

It's been a very long day. I barely made it to the first session this morning at 8:00 a.m. I walked in just as they started. It was a great session on novice LD. They lady that presented was a hoot. Then there was a general session meeting, then I went to a session on finding Interp selections that was o.k. but I'm not sure how helpful it will be. Then we had lunch. It was some kind of chicken with a sauce on top, brown rice and vegetables. The chicken and rice were very good, but you can imagine that I certainly did not eat the vegetables. There was peach cobbler for dessert and although it's not my favorite, it was either pretty good or I was still hungry. The guest speaker was a long time (but now retired) Baptist preacher. I was wondering what kind of speech he might give, but it was very well done. It spoke to all of us as educators and he had a lot of humor in it. It was amazing. After lunch I went to an interest group meeting for oral interp followed by a very long session on current trends in LD debate. I about died in that session. O.k., maybe I'm exaggerrating just a little, but when I start doodling on my paper, it's not keeping my attention very well. I had to doodle to stay awake. Then I had another interest group meeting... this time K-12 education. Next year, I will be taking part in one of the presentations. But at least this way I should be able to go to the meeting since I'm going to be in the program. Next year it's in San Antonio. That should be a lot of fun. After the last meeting I went to a reception at the Amarillo art museum. They had lots of tasty little tidbits. Richard would be proud of me. I tried new things that I didn't know what they were until I ate them. I even ate some lobster tail on a stick. They only thing I didn't care for was some very hot mustard I put on a piece of roast beef on a bun. The desserts were heavenly. From there, I rushed home to change clothes and head up to the homecoming game. I figured I'd be sitting alone again, but I spotted someone that I went to high school with and sat with him. He goes to my church so we spent some time visiting. Unfortunately I was surrounded by a lot of kids. I'm not knocking kids or have anything against them per se... but sometimes they are just too much. I guess I don't remember Josh being that rambunctious. I don't think they sat still for a second. Then there was another little girl that kept counting to 100 loudly and then sang the alphabet song at the top of her lungs while the band was performing. It kind of got on my last nerve... or second to last.. but I just couldn't understand how her mother & grandparents didn't do anything about it. I guess they subscribe to the ignoring method of child rearing. I just know that if Josh had done that, I would have started counting to five. (That was how he knew he was doing something wrong and he knew to stop before I got to one.)
I got home around 10:15 and I'm exhausted. I still probably have to go pick Josh up at school in about 45 more minutes. I better quit typing before my words don't make any senswkeaiojf.

Almost too tired to blog

I thought about not posting tonight and just going to bed. But then I thought my my wonderful, faithful readers and good friends that would wonder what was wrong if I didn't post. I don't what I'd do without my wonderful readers. I sometimes wonder what they get out of reading my mostly dull blog, but I'm thankful none-the-less. I have such great blog friends and how I hope and wish that some day I will get to meet them face to face.

So for my day. I got to sleep in only slightly this morning. I got to the convention around 8:30 and went to a session at 8:45. It was o.k., but nothing earth shattering. It was mostly a gripe session about the comm. app. class we teach that is designed for 11th & 12th graders but is being taught to 9th & 10th graders that aren't ready as well as 8th graders which makes no sense at all. Then we had a our first general session followed by an outing at a working ranch. We watched cowboys practice roping, had lunch (huge burgers), and listened to cowboy poetry. It was interesting. Then we headed back to the convention, had a district meeting and then I decided to skip the interest group meeting as I had no inclination to get involved in a session full of those interested in argumentation and debate. Instead a group of us went to a bookstore that was having a moving sale. I got two books on sale for 2.99 each. Then we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. The food there is decent, but it's not my favorite place. I am sad to say that my favorite mexican restaurant has closed down. We had some good girl talk and I'm starting to fit in with some of the other teachers. I am at least hanging with some women that are around my age. After that, it was back to the convention for a very long TFA meeting. I was surprised by the fact that it was quite controlled this year... so far. I won't make it to the second meeting, however, since it is the homecoming game and I want to go to that. I got home just a short while ago and peeled my jeans off. (I do mean peeled... they were a little on the tight side... but Richard would have loved how I looked in them.) Now I'm dealing with starving animals so I have to quit blogging soon in order to feed them and then head to bed myself.
I just wanted to give you a quick update and then I'll be off to la-la land.

First day of convention

It was really nice to sleep in this morning. I slept until 8:00. I could go to bed now, but I just put some clothes in the washer. I may still go to bed and put them in the dryer in the morning. I took my dog to the groomers this morning, then went to my fun, fun doctor's appointment. I still have to go have blood drawn, but other than that it was uneventful. My body seems to be acting normal again and he indicated that the tumors hadn't gotten bigger so I guess things are fine for now. Kind of a watch and wait for the moment. He mentioned a hysterectomy again, but I told him that I could only do that if it became medically necessary. I probably won't be having more kids, but I still need to leave the option open.
The first day of convention was uneventful. I helped hand out goody bags for two hours. Then we went out to eat dinner. I had a steak, salad and baked potato.
And now I have nothing more to say. I'm just tired and need to go to bed. Maybe I'll have something more interesting to share tomorrow.

Now that we've all ragged on him...

Just so you know... although my ex is indeed a pervert and I'm sure even he would admit that, he does have some very good qualities. I know it's strange to think of us together, but outside of the inordinate amount of sexual interests he has, we had several things in common and often had a lot of fun together.
He is very smart. He is a gifted writer (using proper English, even!) and has written a screenplay that is very well done as well as other stories and scripts. He is intelligent and a remarkable programmer. He taught himself Access and has written successful police software programs. He is talented artistically and theatrically. He can also perform magic and do hypnosis. For a while, he and I would travel to different places and put on hypnosis shows. I ran his sounds. It was hilarious to watch and take part in the shows. He also had a romantic streak. He often sent flowers... when in the dog house, for birthdays/anniversaries, and sometimes just because. His proposal was very creative. Perhaps I'll share that story with you at some point.
Unfortunately despite some of these wonderful qualities, there were several other factors that we both decided that we couldn't live with. He is more of a wild, free spirit with very little inhibitions... and I'm pretty much the opposite. (Though I still contend that I'm not as inhibited as he still seems to think.) Our divorce was amicable and he was very fair about it. I filed it myself in court and did all the paperwork for it. He just had to sign the decree. Although I was bitter for a while, I realized that it didn't serve any purpose to hold on to grudges and I finally let go when I wrote him a long letter after I started the annulment process. Let me tell what a relief forgiveness is. Sure, he did things that were wrong, as did I. Now instead of focusing on the negative parts of our relationship, I remember some wonderful times. We travelled well together (if I didn't drink too much) and he introduced me to new things (like theatre & the internet) that are still a part of my life. We are still good friends, but no, we are definitely not relationship material. Our morals and values are different enough that they just don't mesh.
I know that I didn't stroke his ego enough when we were married. Maybe this starts to make up for that.

I knew better...

...than to bring homework to grade. I don't why I ever pack my back with papers to grade when I know I'm not going to do it when I get home. At least I'm getting smart and not even bothering. I don't know what it is... but I can't get myself to focus on schoolwork once I'm home. I guess I like my time at home to be my time. I want to be off the clock so to speak. Luckily, having two conference periods certainly helps in being able to get things done. I'm still perpetually behind, but at least I stay busy. Tomorrow is going to be my Friday. Last day of school for the week. I'm looking forward to the time off, but it will be a pain to deal with the work when I get back.

I'm still behind on things that need to be done around the house although I did do some laundry tonight. I will have the morning off on Wednesday so hopefully I can get some stuff done then. I did schedule a doctor's appointment so I do have to get out of bed. It's the fun female one... I can't wait... not. But given my issues this summer it would be nice to get some answers about why my body totally freaks out from time to time.

I'm glad my advice to Andrew went over well. You really can't ever go wrong with flowers. It's been a long time since I've gotten flowers. The last few times, I bought them for myself. Before that, was from my sister for my confirmation. Before that... I can't remember. I am not sure why flowers are so great when they just die in a few days but it's always nice to get them. They're pretty and they smell good and it's always the thought that counts.

Oh... my ex-husband commented in his blog that I still think he's a pervert. I'm not sure why he seems to care whether or not I still think that, but maybe you should go read his blog and decide for yourself. Warning... some material is not suitable for young audiences.

Now I can post

There's nothing like a benadryl that helps me get a good night's sleep, church with a very relative homily, and donuts to put things into perspective. I am glad that I waited to post because I had a brief moment of self-pity last night and now I'm over it.
This whole match.com thing has been a bit frustrating and I'm realizing that it is probably not the best avenue for me to explore in regard to finding someone interesting with whom to develop a friendship or possibly a relationship. My good friend Andrew was kind enough to chat with me last night and gave me some very nice compliments. I was feeling a bit down because it seems that when I get close to talking with someone remotely interesting AND intelligent, they quickly disappear for some reason. I've been wondering what's wrong with me and I think I've come to the conclusion that nothing is wrong with me and the problem lies in those shallow men that for whatever reason think I'm not up to par. I understand that we all have standards. Unfortunatley, mine are probably too high in some respects because I appreciate proper English and spelling of most words correctly. I appreciate someone that READS.

I'm not perfect. I have my good and bad days like most people. Thankfully I tend to have more good days than bad and really the bad ones aren't much of anything. I am pretty positive most of the time, but I have my moments of moodiness because, after all, I am human. (Oh, I'm sorry... were you looking for the robot woman that has no mood swings, in a size 4, with big boobs?) It just seems that since I've changed to a much more moral, positive, and spiritually filled person, that the men have just creeped back into the walls or something.

But regardless of the fact that there are men that won't give me the time of day, I still know that deep down I'm a pretty darn good catch. I think my blog friends, real life friends, and even my ex-husband would vouch for that. The thing about the personals is that you have to try to sell yourself with those ads. Honesty is a bit relative. I am honest in my ad, which is probably unusual and perhaps that is a reason why I'm not getting much in the way of responses. No, I'm not listing all my quirks, and I think I paint a pretty good picture of myself. I go to church regularly and it's a part of my life. I am not perfect, but have some really good qualities. I'm not going to pretend to be a sports nut when I'm not. But I've decided it doesn't matter. If I get more responses, great. I will be happy to respond to them, but I'm not going to worry myself about whether or not this guy or that guy is interested. It's taken a while to rebuild my self-esteem and I think that for the most part, I feel good about myself. Sure, those doubts creep in every once in a while, but ultimately, I know that someday I will meet that guy that is lucky enough to realize what a catch I am.